i am feeling like a mess and a half these days. some thoughts that have been coming in and out of my head are questions like: what do you want?/does what you want ultimately matter in what you're called to do?/if you're dissatisfied with who you are is it because you're believing lies or because you're refusing to change?/why the heck are you so cranky?/what are you going to be doing in 5 years?/why does it matter so much to you that you can't answer that question?/why do so few people know you're having all these questions?/when on earth is this school year going to end?/will ever stop being terrified to make phone calls to parents?/why oh why have i not been drinking deeply of christ?/why do i suck at this?/why do i think i suck at this?/why does it matter if i suck at this?/why am i upset that i only got three letters?/why don't i come right and tell people how i feel?/why OH WHY have i not written that kid up yet?/what am i so afraid of?/how many questions do i have?/will my heart always feel like this?/why am i blogging past my bedtime?/why do i need a bedtime?/...
and the questions stopped. at least for now. i titled this post "theme song" because originally all i was going to do was post this one song. but then all that happened--crazy stream of consciousness that makes me feel so very falkner-esque. without further ado...
also...i think this video is kind of a hilarious montage.
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