i have ten days

...to teach myself PSYC 101

...to fill out my planner

...to find my lesson plans

...to rewrite the lesson plans that suck

...to become mentally prepared to teach high school students

...to get organized

...to be able to go to bed before eleven and wake up before the sun

{ten days}

dancing in the minefields

god is not a white man

discontent

lord, teach my heart to be content.

my eyes are so blue...

...with wonder and fear You knit me together/You should have been scared when You breathed into me/i've a feeling You knew what i'd say and what i'd do/but Your love said do it anyway/love, oh, love, oh/search me, o God/know i'm nervous/test me Father/i'm not perfect/change me o God with Your mercy/please smile/with wonder and fear You knit me together/You should have been scared when You breathed into me/i've a feeling You knew what i'd say and what i'd do/but Your love said do it anyway

psalm 139 as interpreted and experienced by aaron strumpel in the song "my are so blue i feel like i could look right through"

beautiful

hope now

this song is kind of cheesy, but it's also so so good.

"hope now" by addison road

If everything comes down to love

Then just what I am afraid of

When I call out Your name

Something inside awakes in my soul

How quickly I forget I’m Yours

I’m not my own

I’ve been carried by You

All my life

Everything rides on hope now

Everything rides on faith somehow

When the world has broken me down

Your love sets me free

When my life is like a storm

Rising waters all I want is the shore

You say I’ll be okay and

Make it through the rain

You are my shelter from the storm

I’m not my own

I’ve been carried by You

All my life

Everything rides on hope now

Everything rides on faith somehow

When the world has broken me down

Your love sets me free

Everything rides on hope now

Everything rides on faith somehow

When the world has broken me down

Your love sets me free

You’ve become my hearts desire

I will sing Your praises higher

Cause Your love sets me free

Your love sets me free

Your love sets me free

love through me

8. love through me 

copyright tyler and jenny somers 2009

there is plenty on this earth to suit our needs | but there will never ever be enough to satisfy our greed | weigh this heavy on me now until i can hardly breathe | love through me           

i've never gone a day without a meal because i couldn't afford it | stood on a corner and begged for pennies, holding out a sign | called me blessed, but it sure does feel pathetic, children round' the world are hungry now           

so would i give up pillows and cable, clothing and candy, if a boy could rest his tired bones? | would i lay down making all this money, just to have my milk and honey, if my fellow man could get the chance to watch his children grow?           

i feel in the right, self-justified giving coins away | but what about the time i consider mine not tomorrow but right now today? | clothe the naked; feed the hungry; welcome strangers | come on, get up and open your eyes           

if a girl could have some more to eat? | if my fellow man could get the chance to hear about the King?           

help us see, our eyes are weak, help us please.

enslaved

everything under the sun enslaves you. everything enslaves. everything. Jesus is the only One who is truly joyful, so He is the only One who can give you joy. He is the only One who is truly free, so He is the only One who can set you free. everything will enslave, EVEN your commitment to spiritual growth, even your commitment to serving other people, even your commitment to do things excellently. everything is an addiction. we don't focus on the one who can free us because we don't realize we're enslaved. Jesus alone is joy is free is peace is delightful is happy is...

your mercies are new every morning

i woke in the same way i fell asleep--troubled and overwhelmed. but You have indeed renewed Your mercies. andrew peterson put it this way:

Isn't it love:

This well that won't run dry?

And when I think about that prodigal son,

I've got to smile when I see the old man run.

And I know that You love us the same,

'Cause the sun came up today;

Just as if we deserved it --

Just as if any one of us fools was worth it;

Truth is that we'll never be perfect, but You love us just the same.

the psalmist david (ps 31) put it this way:

be merciful to me, o Lord, for i am in distress;

my eyes grow weak with sorrow,

my soul and my body with grief...

i have become like broken pottery...

but i trust in You, o Lord;

i say, "You are my God."

my times are in Your hands; deliver me...

love the Lord, all His saints!

the Lord preserves the faithful,

but the proud He pays back in full.

be strong and take heart,

all you who hope in the Lord.

my times are in Your hands, Papa.

i had such an odd sense memory yesterday. i was walking across campus, thoroughly enjoying the sweet foretaste of fall weather, and listening to paramore. i felt almost physically transported back to fall of freshman year. i also felt emotionally as if i were there again. i began not only remembering but re-feeling emotions, good and bad, of that fall. if you know me well, you know that that fall was one full of extremes: joy and despair, best and worst. i'm not entirely certain how i feel about the experience. i have noticed, however, that i have grown increasingly nostalgic since the experience. not just nostalgic but also regretful. you know, winthrop, i don't think i'm quite ready to be done with you. (that statement BLOWS my mind.) and i'm not sure what to do with you. i am so ready to leave yet i am not. i am so ready to move on but i am not. yikes.

he put a new song in my mouth

come

If He can conquer the grave, He can flood the deserts

If He came before, He can come again

Lord, come

Come, Lord Jesus, come

Come, Lord Jesus, come

 

If He can make the sun rise, He can break the darkness

If He bore your shame, He can bear your fears

Lord, come

 

Come, Lord Jesus, come

Come, Lord Jesus, come

Come, Lord Jesus, come

Come, Lord Jesus, come

 

Rejoice! Rejoice! He is coming!

Dance! Dance! He is coming!

 

Words & Music by Katie Manley

inspired by Rev. 22, Ezek. 34:11-31

 

you can hear a rough recording of it on my myspace page.

christmas 'round the corner

Christmas time is right around the corner. How odd! I cannot believe how quickly this year has passed. Thank God this semester is wrapping up. I have 3 exams left. And then I am off to India for two weeks. I feel so unprepared! Yikes! I think more than anything I'm fearful that I'll come back exactly the same. Not that I won't care more for orphans or for different peoples. I'm afraid I'll come back just as dry as when I left. Alas. I share the sentiments of John in the last chapter of Revelation. "Come, Lord Jesus."

want a plane that loops the loop

i still want a hula hoop

a prayer for the brokenhearted

A Prayer For The Broken Hearted 1. No day in my life has past,  That hasn't proved me guilty  Prayers are uttered too fast  From a heart that's cold and empty. Chorus: Oh Blessed Jesus,  May we find a covert in thy wounds Though our sins, they rise to meet us, How they fall next to the merits of you 2. Oh, all in me calls for this  It calls for my rejection  This heavy unrighteousness,  Oh is there no protection? Bridge: My best services are rags, my best deeds are filthy. Repeat Chorus 3. Grant me hear thy shoring voice,  That in thy wounds is pardon  Grant me see thy willing choice  To make my hard heart softened  Bridge 2: Keep the broken-hearted sure,  Clinging to thy cross, our cure. Repeat Chorus Twice © 2006 Petit Bateau Music (ASCAP).

Words: Chelsey Scott Based on a prayer from "The Valley of Vision" Music: Chelsey Scott

get behind me santa

In one of my classes a while back (in fact, I wrote most of this blog back in September but never finished writing it until now), we had to discuss the negative and positive effects of teaching our children the myth of Santa Claus. First of all, I'm annoyed at my professor's presumptions that all people love the myth of Santa and that no one wants to surrender it, even if it's for the better of their children. Further, she laughed upon the idea of any child not believing in Santa. (Just so you know, I was one of those kids. Perhaps my parents were bad liars or I was just too cynical at birth, but I never believed a fat guy came down my chimney--the chimney I've never had.)

There was a lot of discussion and murmuring on both sides of the issue. Disturbingly, though, the only solid reasons people could give in favor of telling your children the myth of Santa was that they would be that one kid in the class who knew the truth, and they may tell other kids that they're believing a lie. Oh, what a travesty! There were no arguments for the benefits of telling them about Santa except that they may not be able to conform to the world at a young age.

All kidding aside, what are we learning by promoting Santa? If you are good you get presents and if you're bad you get coal. This Santa knows what you're doing at all times, knows when you cry and when you laugh, everything. What are we teaching our kids, really? That in order to receive gifts you must present yourself worthy? I would much rather my kids believe they received gifts because they are loved, not because they were "good" enough. No wonder we have a complex over whether or not God loves us. We have been taught since birth that only the "good" kids get shown love and the others get crap thrown at them. May it never be said that God treats His children that way. He loves beyond our disobedience. He is faithful beyond our unfaithfulness. Praise God for He is a good father, very unlike our Santa Claus.

bad decision

For my CRTW (Critical Reading, Thinking, & Writing) we were prompted to analyze our thinking through a bad decision using Nosich's fundamental elements of critical thinking. Here is my intro paragraph. I think it sums up well how this semester has started:

The clock reads 10:35 PM the night before the paper is due. The page holds a measly twenty-eight words, including the title and date, of course. The goal comes into view, yet the execution of the task at hand still becomes upset by text messages, slight thirst and developing eyestrain. Distractions, though, must at last lose their power to sway attentions, and all other priorities must wait until tomorrow to be addressed. Progress comes slowly, and everything within the writer groans, “How did it come to be like this? What on earth were you thinking?” Indeed, the writer contemplates the same question. There were many reasons for such a delay in writing, including but not limited to psychology tests, prior commitments and a praying mantis, but the single most influential factor has seemingly been a general lack of discipline in the midst of a hectic lifestyle. 

school

it has officially begun. i am sitting in a starbucks so that i can focus on writing my paper, but i am, of course, not focusing on writing my paper. i guess i have learned some things, though: the paper is due wednesday not tomorrow.

india

This post may come as a surprise to you, or perhaps it will be no surprise at all. Over Christmas break, specifically December 16-30, I will be flying to Central India. Our team’s ministry there will be to the missionaries and their work, specifically assisting in the long-term relationships the missionaries have developed. Now what does that mean exactly? Some of our basic activities will be: leading Bible studies with kids in the orphanage and Bible students, playing games and having sessions with the kids, construction, painting, and attending church services and other cultural experiences. Basically, we are going there to love on the missionaries and help them as they’re working to love, support and liberate the people of India.

So, why India? Why now? Well, I’ve always felt drawn to the country of India. I think I first discovered this as a young child watching movies like A Little Princess—which I still watch now and find myself just as intrigued. As I’ve grown older the desire has grown deeper into my heart as I’ve learned about the people and their struggles, e.g. the oppression of the Dalit people, formally known as Untouchables, who are ostracized as an “inferior caste” and often denied wells for drinking water, electricity and education; women and children (often Dalit in caste) who are forced to prostitute their bodies as the only means of survival available to them. Jesus came to redeem our whole selves—our intellect, body, heart and soul to liberate us from the brokenness of this world. The Gospel calls us to not only concern ourselves with the eternal security of souls, but also the sanctity and dignity of life, which belongs to all people for we have all been created in the image of God. I see in the work of RUSA and Crossroads the desire to not just make converts but to liberate broken people through the redemption of Jesus, to the glory of God.

Am I called to full-time ministry in India? I have no idea. Do I think this trip is a good step in trying to figure that out? Absolutely. I’m hoping that you and your family will be able to partner with me in this work, prayerfully and financially. The total cost of the trip is about $3,400, including everything from airfare to translators to food. A non-refundable deposit of $1,500 is due September 15, with the remaining balance due November 15. Yes, that is a very short time frame in my brain, too. But God is more than sufficient in power and faithfulness to see this happen. Please prayerfully consider supporting me in finances and prayer.

Thank you so much for prayerfully considering partnering with me.

harmonicas. elephants. vanilla candles. colorful scarves. orange juice with some pulp. in these things i can taste/smell/ see/hear the sweetness of God

Luke 15

"As long as you are trying to earn your salvation by controlling God through goodness, you will never be sure you have been good enough for Him. You simply aren't sure God loves and delights in you. What are the signs of this lack of assurance? We have already mentioned one sign: Every time something goes wrong in your life, you wonder if it's because you aren't living right in this or that area. Another sign is that criticism from others doesn't just hurt your feelings, it devastates you. This is because your sense of God's love is abstract and has little power in your life, and you need the approval of others to bolster your sense of value. You will also feel irresolvable guilt. When you do something you know is wrong your conscience torments you for a long time, even after you repent. Since you can't be sure you've repented deeply enough, you beat yourself up over what you did. But perhaps the clearest symptom of this lack of assurance is a dry prayer life...Why is it so important to know that Jesus exposes elder-brother lostness as being as wrong and destructive as younger brother lostness? The elder brothers of the world desperately need to see themselves in this mirror...The younger brother knew he was alienated from the father, but the elder brother did not. That's why elder brother lostness is so dangerous. Elder brothers don't go to God and beg for healing from their condition. They see nothing wrong with their condition and that can be fatal. If you know you are sick you may go to a doctor; if you don't know you're sick you won't--you'll just die...In this parable Jesus says to us, 'Would you please be open to the possibility that the gospel, real Christianity, is something very different from religion?'...There is a big difference between an elder brother and a real, gospel-believing Christian. But there are also many genuine Christians who are elder-brotherish...While most people do not arrive at these extreme places, each approach (younger and elder-brother) to life has the seeds of its own destruction in it, which draws its adherents toward the spiritual destinations [Jesus] describes so well...He has vividly portrayed both of the world's two spiritual paths (rebellion and moralism)....However, he exposes them both as profoundly mistaken, as dead ends. He clearly wants us to take some radically different approach, but what is it? Where do we find it? We will find the answer when we realize that Jesus deliberately left someone out of this parable. He did this so that we would look for him and, finding him, find out own way home at last."

--Tim Keller, The Prodigal God p. 63-66, 69-72